#650 Waiting for the call

landscape

drawing

For Sale

Waiting for the call

Which took ages to arrange

And epochs to emerge

A call for

Reducing eternal anxiety

That I'm (Obviously)

Anxious to receive

Categories

Anxiety

Wasting time

I feel anxious about whether I'm actually anxious or not, and I'm not even sure about the authenticity of that feeling. I've always experienced anxiety, but the feeling used to be predictable. Recently (it's already been more than half a year), it has become part of my regular experience -- making art about being hungry might have me feeling off. It took me a while to talk to my GP. It took us longer to figure out it probably wasn't physical, which led to me getting referred to a mental health clinic, which is taking even longer to call back. They told me I'd be on the waiting list for 72 days. When I had waited those days, and they hadn't called me, I assumed they didn't count weekends and vacations. When even accounting for that, the days had passed without a call; I became anxious about whether I did something wrong. I know I should call them to confirm, but I'm sure I've become very fond of waiting for the call. Maybe I am actually anxious, but it's just another hobby to fill my empty time.