What if your sister was the Sky and so that any time you'd look at her, she'd be very different?

It means that some days, she'd be so calm, sweet, and sometimes, if you're lucky, even genius. But frequently, she would be more angry and destructive than anything else really can be in your life, destroying anything she wants to, seemingly for no reason. Would you be able to look back and appreciate the genius?

You think you know that she tries her best to be regular and often doesn't remember doing anything wrong, suffering more than anyone else could, from more than she even outwardly shows.

But it's hard to be compassionate because you have in the past, and it never works out great, even though you know that maybe you should and that you're selfish for not wanting to try.

You might have difficulties understanding who she is. It could take you decades to slightly comprehend that she is just what she happens to be that day, depending on the state of the world. Maybe some aspects are pretty familiar from day to day, but are those elements what make a person if everything else changes? 

Perhaps you'll find yourself in a loop, thinking about it all over and over, never reaching a new conclusion, only to realize that there is no final conclusion, and it feels like it's not even worth thinking about anymore. 

Could you stop yourself from disliking her, especially seeing the problems she still, and maybe will forever cause? But even that, you might realize, is pointless because she's not, maybe unfortunately so, a monster.

You can imagine that it would be difficult to trust people in general, seeing as you wouldn't even be able to trust your sister to be the same person the next time you see her, let alone be reasonable or friendly. You might learn to deal with stress weirdly, conceivably contributing to some general anxiety. 

What an easy topic to make "meaningful" art about, though. I'm confident I wouldn't trade in all my art to have grown up without her.

Beautiful Boring LIfe

Like everyone, I'm addicted to keeping myself entertained, meaning I almost always have some video and music playing. Even that often isn't enough, so I also frequently find myself scrolling through social media. 

I like walking, it's another good way to keep myself busy, though even while walking I'm always listening to something. Sometimes, often but not always, while sitting on a bench or during a walk, I remove my headphones, and I sit, look, and listen.

And it makes me feel some weird way that I don't know how to explain, but the best I can do is to call it the beauty of our boring lives.

Janis Joplin

"What a voice. 

It's difficult not to be somewhat mad, although this is very selfish, at all the great artists that died so soon considering all the art we might've had but never will, can you imagine what else Jimi Hendrix, the Doors or Basquiat, could've done? 

When thinking about Janis as well, it's hard not to think about how her life ended and how she suffered throughout, which is maybe unfortunate as there was much more interesting about her.

Still, I think she is unique in that she wasn't that conventionally attractive, which is often very important for anyone famous, but especially for notable women. No, what made her so prevalent was her voice and writing, and deservedly so.

I don't know her, and I'll never know her, so my understanding of who exactly she was is incredibly limited. From what I know, and this can also be intuited by her passing, there was a lot of sadness, but she presented as a friendly and happy person.

And that's what I wanted to capture: the happy Janis, with a large mouth from which came a crazy volume, singing about what interested her, smoking a cigarette, like she often did."

Highway

"Humans spend so much time on highways in cars, going to many places, and most often coming back too. While on the road, the perspectives are fascinating but repetitive. But if you're wasting your time away, traveling huge distances, you might as well enjoy whatever repetitive sights you find.

Convincing yourself that the tedious elements of life are fascinating is a superpower that I wish I could tap into more often.

But honestly, now that I don't live with my parents anymore, being in cars is a rarity, let alone being on highways. If I do happen to travel, it's often by train, but I mostly don't go anywhere.

So this painting is more about my perspective when I walk past the highway at the edge of Den Bosch, gazing into the endless roads, enviously thinking about the countless people going by, many of whom I might never see again, who are riding their cars going to many fascinating, or so I presume, places and coming back."

My instruments

"Creating any art requires some instrument, I think, and possibly, partially, because of that is why there's such a fascination with instruments from artists. 

Some instruments are also just fun objects to portray. Some companies have good logos, but the branding of pianos and certain guitars is incredible, so much so that merely glancing at them makes you want to play.

In this case, looking around my room made me want to paint the instruments I sometimes, but not often enough, use to make music. There's something to portraying one art form with another."

Coach's Garbage Containers

"When I quit playing basketball, I had played half my life. One afternoon, I realized that the sport cost more effort than I could care to put in. And as I do when I conclude somewhere or with something, I left the game behind: I haven't touched a basketball since or talked to anyone I used to play with. 

A couple of coaches trained me over the years, and honestly, I mostly don't remember them or what they taught me. Whatever it was, it certainly isn't that helpful anymore. 

But, probably my favorite coach, maybe the best, is whose garbage containers this painting is about.

It's pretty interesting, though also very obvious and predictable, how you can meet people you've known in the past in unexpected ways. I hadn't thought about him in years and certainly didn't expect to meet him again.

So apparently, my old coach is an artist who painted these garbage containers, which happened to be on this street I travel past quite often. 

And now, every time I walk by, I take a good look and think about my old coach and basketball, all the people I played with, and how one day, like the sport, I might drop any art I do as well.

The art has meaning, which I connect with, but the context about who created it and how it relates to me inspired me to make something of my own."

Pablo Picasso

Balloon In Tree

"Another cold day. It's not even that late, and the sun is gone already. The sun hides away before the day even starts this time of year. It's pretty peaceful out here. 

It was a Thursday, so I ate with my parents. My baby nephew, who they care for, was as loud as always. I taught him some guitar today, but I don't think he gets it yet. 

Finding what to say to my parents when I'm there is always hard. Seeing them makes me happy anyway, but sometimes it's easier to talk about nothing to strangers than to my parents. Maybe it's because I don't want to waste time on stupid topics with my parents, which doesn't leave much else.

Walking is great. Wherever I go, as long as it's reasonable, I walk. My bike also doesn't work, and public transport isn't for me, so I don't have a choice but to love it either.

So, with everything on my mind, I walked back home in the peaceful, cold, sunless world. I was almost home and pretty tired when I decided to look up, where I noticed two balloons in a tree. 

Can you imagine being one of those balloons? All you want to do is go up and travel great distances, but there you are, stuck, until maybe the wind helps you out, too far up for anyone else to reasonably get you out."

Cubism

End Of The City

"Everything ends, though hard to identify, even cities do, but it's easy to tell that one of my favorite walking spots is on the edge. 

It's not the most peaceful spot in the surrounding area, but probably the quietest while still, maybe technically so, inside of the city. 

There's this great perspective on the beautiful city of Den Bosch, with just before it a highway bringing many people anywhere they need to go. At the same time, if you turn your head, you see this endless sight of birds and green. Which likely isn't inside the city anymore. Who cares about borders anyway? To me, it's the most meaningful part of the city.

And then I get bored and go to the ugly but functioning neighborhood not too far away, happy to be back and to see the many ugly and angry faces."

Henri Matisse

The GP

People who accurately understand how they're feeling are geniuses. I'm never sure how I feel, and often, I'm sure I don't know, which drives me crazy. 

One day, I woke up, and I just felt weird. Generally, I hate dealing with people and being in situations that I'm not familiar with, so it took me two weeks to call and go to the GP. 

Unfortunately, at first, I assumed that it was some stomach problem, maybe that I had poisoned myself, as I still relatively recently went to live on my own and, admittedly, some of my health habits were awful.

For two and a half months, the GP and I explored and did tests to understand what it could be. We concluded that it might be something mental.

And I appreciate the GP. When talking to her, I very much felt listened to, although sometimes I'm not sure if she fully got what I said. 

But now, and this will probably take years to understand, I don't know whether to be thankful for her help or upset about how long it took to come to such an obvious conclusion.

The Addict

Being addicted is nice. I like being addicted. It makes life easier. Instead of constantly working to do something meaningful, I can relax and waste my time.

At the end of the day or week, I think about where all my time went. I'll realize that I wasted so much time again and think: "I should spend less time doing these useless things. So I can focus on what makes me happy".

Then, the next time I can spend my time better, I'll choose not to because I prefer not to work to do something significant. No, what makes me happy is to waste my time.

Easter Island

Stoned Party

I used to get stoned a lot. Nowadays, I'm sober, but I doubt I'm completely over it yet. Regardless, I don't go to many parties, and the ones I did go to, naturally, I would get stoned at. 

Parties are just an excuse for people to get high on whatever substances,  feeling like they're not addicted because they only do so when at parties.

Part of the reason I don't see a reason to go to parties is that I'm not sure if there's any benefit to getting high with people around you over getting high alone.

So, I would choose to get high on my own. I can only imagine that other people get something from the social interactions that I don't. Or maybe it exclusively is that they don't want to feel bad about their drug habits.

But this painting isn't about any of that at all. It's just that Moai reminded me of being at some of those parties. Man, I love Moai. They convey such emotion I can look at them for ages.

Bird On Ledge

I don't remember when, but at some point, during some walk, I must've seen some birds on a ledge and thought: 'Now that's a sight I must replicate in my art.'

My sister swears that it was during a walk we went on together. To make her feel special, I told her it was true. Frankly, I don't remember, and often, I need to be alone to get any ideas, so I doubt it.

It's not like my ideas are that deep. They're mainly just ordinary things. But when I put myself in a specific mindset, these typical things make me feel something, so I write them down to work on later. 

And when I start working on those ideas, I regularly forget why I wanted to draw them and how it made me feel. That's fine because I wrote it down, which means that it must be an idea worth developing.

This piece is about a bird on a ledge, looking over a larger landscape. I would love to join the bird and experience the sight.

Kees van Dongen

Only Light In Window

This time of year is so dark here. I thought the shortest day of the year was a month before it was. I made the same mistake last year. And again, when I realized we would have another month of ever shorter days, it made me incredibly sad.

Regardless, something I now realize I've missed in the summer months is that in the dark world, the lightest parts are the insides of houses.

I might have missed this because I don't go outside that much when it's late, so I don't see the darkness in the summer, or because during the summer, people have a lot of time to realize it's getting dark, so they often close their blinds, and somehow they forget to do it when it's dark earlier.

The result is that now, during my walks, I get to look around and see all the fascinating rooms inside all the buildings. 

Cold White Guy

I'm a Dutch guy, so Dutch that if they analyzed my heritage, they would have to invent new terminology to define my Dutchness. If you didn't know, we Dutch people are generally very white, which is also true for me.

Walking is a big part of my life. I couldn't live like this at all in a lot of other (flawed) cities, but here in the great Den Bosch, I generally get by.

It's been pretty cold, not historically, but relative to the rest of the year. I maybe prefer the cold, as now, I never really get hot and sweaty during my walks, but it does mean I get cold.

Recently, during a walk, I looked down at my hands and noticed they were very pink, obviously from the cold, which I've witnessed maybe a couple hundred times in my lifetime. 

And I never really thought much about it. So I must've been desperate for art ideas, seeing as I wrote this one down. But it's an interesting idea and had me wondering what similar experiences others have that I won't ever share.

Clocks

During the workweek, I work a couple of very long days so that my weekends last longer. Any hour I spend making art, I need to waste at least 30 minutes, so having a lengthier weekend makes it easier to get art done. 

Now, for some reason, when I finally make it to the end of the week, I mostly spend it doing nothing satisfying: playing games or watching videos. Don't get me wrong, I get some art done, but I could accomplish much more.

I might as well merely sit in a chair, looking at a wall of clocks, where anytime I look at a different one, hours zoom by, wasted doing nothing but thinking: ""I should stop wasting my time."" Knowing I won't.

Tree In Field

While sitting on one of the great benches of Den Bosch, reality hit me; I was out of ideas for things to paint, which often happens as I paint a lot. 

Actually, honestly, I had already realized this at home, which was the cause of this particular walk. It took this bench to inspire ideas, so I wanted to give it more credit.

Nonetheless, after some time walking, I found a bench worthy of sitting and sat down. I documented six ideas over fifteen minutes of concentrated sitting. The two previous paintings were conceived here, and the next three ones will be, and obviously, this one was also.

This idea was about my surroundings at the time. I looked forward and noticed a lonely tree in this intensely large field. It wasn't a great or meaningful idea, but a good enough excuse to paint anyway, so I wrote it down. 

That's the 'meaning' of this piece: a beautiful tree in a massive field from a fascinating perspective that hopefully makes you feel some way.

Cute Cow

Some people think eating 'pets' like dogs and cats is wrong and eating cows is okay because cows aren't cute. They're wrong. Cows can totally be, and often are, pretty cute. Now, I'll still eat them, so you might consider me evil, but I'll take that as I could've been an evil hypocrite instead.

Pretty close to my house, in a field close to where a family get-together was once, there are a bunch of cute cows I wanted to capture. In actuality, the cows aren't really pink, and neither are the surroundings as portrayed. Even though it's nothing like reality, while looking at this piece, I can feel the wind through my hair and hear the cows communicate their blues.

The next time you walk by some cows, try to see the cuteness in them. In the same way you might for a cat or a cow, it shouldn't be difficult, and if it is you're probably merely biased.

Art inspired by the tranquil benches of Den Bosch. A testament to the beauty found in simple walks and the muse they provide. A homage to moments of reflection and creativity.

The Bench

Going for walks is one of the best hobbies I've got. It's undefeated not only because moving is healthy for a human (like me) but also because it's a great way to waste time, listen to music, and get ideas for art. 

There are many benches around Den Bosch with beautiful perspectives, or at least sights that have me convinced of their beauty, which is one thing I definitely do thank this city for.

Often while out and about I find myself sitting on one of those benches, with or without a piece of paper and a marker, looking at those beautiful sights. 

It's all meaningless and a waste of time, yet still mesmerizing and, more importantly, inspiring for my next piece of art I can waste even more time on.

This piece is dedicated to none specifically but all of those benches I've sat on before and will sit on in the future.

Art piece capturing the depths of anxiety and self-reflection. A portrayal of personal struggles amidst life's uncertainties. Does the title truly match the feeling?

Unending Anxiety

Anxiety has plagued my life, maybe more than is normal for a person. How could I know? It's possible now this is more true than ever. I definitely feel like I'm anxious consistently, with no end in sight. 

It's not a terrible life compared to many, maybe even most, people, but it's probably been the worst couple of months of my life. That might be a testament to how good I've got it, or maybe it's just that I don't want to feel like a loser.

Maybe it's just a stomach bug, then the title would be wrong, but the painting could still fit.

Artwork depicts Gaza during airstrikes; an impersonal view of war in the age of constant media. Can we truly understand?

Airstikes In Gaza

It would definitely be kinda egotistical to think I could have a unique take on this horrible conflict. Can't help but be inspired sometimes though. So to prevent myself from putting something stupid on paper I just painted what I saw. 

Pretty crazy how we basically can just see 24/7 footage of wars now. Fascinating to look at when you're as bored as me. While airstrikes were happening in Gaza I happened to be watching for a little bit. 

Weird how impersonal such a perspective is, but sympathy doesn't come easy for me anyway. So that's what I put to paper; a bunch of buildings, some with lights, even though electricity was cut, with a huge fire smoke coming from a building while missiles fly in the air,  there's something horrible happening, but can you actually see it?

Zen Dageraad's artwork draws from Albert King's song, featuring a unique guitar player and radiant woman amidst abstract hues. Perfect blend of music and art

The Hunter

Inspired by the evocative tunes of Albert King, Zen Dageraad paints a vivid image resonating with musical nostalgia. In the foreground, a fiery red representation of Albert King captivates with his yellow guitar, an unusual scope affixed, suggesting precision in every strum. Adding to the whimsical nature, King's locks flow in a vibrant shade of purple, complementing the adjacent figure. A woman, bathed in a rich red hue with similar purple tresses, graces the backdrop with a cheerful smile, as if dancing to the rhythm. The duo is artistically encased within abstract forms, painted in mesmerizing hues of blue, green, and green-blue, lending a surreal touch. With each brushstroke, Zen Dageraad tells a tale of passion, music, and admiration.

Zen Dageraad's evocative painting, inspired by Velvet Underground, depicts the internal struggle between emotion and reason in a captivating visual tableau.

Between Thought And Expression

Inspired by a poignant lyric from the Velvet Underground's "Some Kinda Love", Zen Dageraad brings to life the internal conflict many face between thought and outward expression. This evocative piece captures the struggle of navigating a dualistic mind: one part calm and rational, the other driven by anxiety. At the center, an intense purple head, filled with fiery red expression, confronts the viewer. Contrasted against this visceral emotion is a delicate pink heart cradled within the mind, hinting at the pure intentions often clouded by anxiety. This arresting tableau is set against a tranquil green-blue backdrop, resembling an enclosed space or 'room'. Through this, Zen Dageraad encapsulates the notion that while our thoughts and emotions may conflict, they are all housed within the same mental space.

Zen Dageraad captures the essence of an early 20s song with a vibrant depiction of solitude, inspired by Vincent van Gogh's bedroom painting.

Empty Bed Blues

Drawing inspiration from the melancholic notes of the early 20s song, 'empty bed blues', Zen Dageraad embarked on a journey to capture its essence on canvas. The rhythm of the tune awakened memories of Vincent van Gogh's iconic bedroom painting, which Zen Dageraad channeled into his artwork. Presented is a room bathed in intriguing hues: a stark blue bed and an equally desolate chair take center stage, surrounded by verdant green walls. These walls come alive with splashes of pink artwork, while a solitary yellow window stands as a beacon of hope or perhaps solitude. Adding depth and dimension, the vibrant orange floor is meticulously divided into myriad shapes, each varying in shade, creating a rich tapestry of color and emotion. It's a visual ode to loneliness and contemplation, resonating with the soulful tunes of its musical muse.

Zen Dageraad's artwork captures self-reflection with a pointed gesture and bold colors. Dive into a world of introspection and challenge your perceptions.

Self Absorbed Loser

Conceived during a late-night spark of inspiration, Zen Dageraad crafts a provocative representation of self-reflection. The artwork features an irate, pink-hued figure, vivid against the backdrop of a blue-striped room, pointing directly at the observer. This accusatory gesture is heightened by the audacious yellow crown adorning the figure's head. While the subject remains ambiguous, the painting invites the viewer into a realm of introspection. Zen Dageraad's intention, subtly layered within, is to nudge the beholder to see themselves in the artwork; recognizing the inherent self-absorption that's woven into human nature. With a blend of humor and candidness, it serves as a mirror, compelling us to confront our own egos and assumptions.

Zen Dageraad captures the essence of a Doors lyric with a vivid portrayal of a dancing figure in a purple room, symbolizing the timeless power of music.

When The Music Is Over

Drawn from inspiration by a renowned track from the Doors, this art piece captures the raw emotion behind the lyric "when the music is over, turn out the lights." At the heart of the creation, a blue figure, bathed in a pink shadow, fervently dances beneath a luminous yellow beacon, suggesting that for some, music remains an unending force. The poignant sentiment suggests that life's essence can be found in the melodies and rhythms that resonate within us. Zen Dageraad, the artist, encapsulates this with the surrounding setting: a room painted in varying shades of deep purple. Each element, from the intricately shaded roof and walls to the contrasting floor levels connected by stairs, showcases the depths and dimensions of one's passion for music and life itself.

Zen Dageraad's artwork pays tribute to cherished friendships of the past, depicting vibrant figures on purple with a warm red backdrop.

Friends From The Past

Zen Dageraad's evocative art piece captures the essence of timeless friendships and the inevitable drift that life can sometimes impose. From a young age of 12, Zen has been deeply contemplative about the transient nature of relationships. This artwork serves as an homage to those cherished friends left behind over time, a silent wish for their well-being and prosperity. Two vibrant green-blue figures, symbolizing these cherished bonds, stand poised on purple platforms, indicating the pedestals on which these memories are placed. Contrasting this, the dual shades of red in the background evoke a mix of warmth and melancholy, representing the emotions tied to such reflections. Through color and composition, Zen skillfully conveys the poignant message of longing and remembrance.

Zen Dageraad's artwork captures a poignant moment of a blue figure having its blood drawn. Evocative green shades set the tone for this personal narrative.

Stealing My Blood

In Zen Dageraad's evocative piece, a vibrant blue figure extends its arm in the bottom left, revealing vivid red veins leading to the bottom right. The poignancy is palpable as a blue hand emerges from the top right, grasping a needle that draws blood from the character. The contrast between the blue of the figure and the striking red of the blood is intensified against a background palette of varying green shades, representing a room with a singular window. The painting was borne from Zen Dageraad's personal experience, during a time when he was unwell for two months and underwent a blood test. Although the results indicated no health concerns, there existed an underlying sentiment of having blood taken seemingly in vain – a feeling of theft, perhaps, yet tinged with relief.

Explore Zen Dageraad's depiction of transformation with a pink butterfly amidst a vivid backdrop, capturing the essence of change & constancy.

Sobriety

In Zen Dageraad's evocative creation, a vivid pink butterfly takes center stage, contrasting beautifully with its background that transitions from a warm orange at the top to a serene green-blue below. The segmented shades used within both the butterfly and the backdrop lend depth and dimension, drawing viewers into the story behind the piece. Zen Dageraad reveals his journey of personal transition and self-discovery, reminiscent of the transformative phases of a caterpillar to a butterfly. After quitting a daily habit of smoking weed, the artist experienced a paradox: a significant change externally, yet feeling internally unchanged. This nuanced duality is captured with the butterfly, suggesting that while we may undergo profound transformations, our core essence remains intact.

Experience the cold embrace of the pines in Zen Dageraad's painting inspired by Smog's song, enriched with whimsical colors and a nostalgic musical narrative.

In The Pines

Drawing inspiration from the musically rich soundscape of Smog's "In the Pines", artist Zen Dageraad ventures into a cold, mystical realm in his work. Although the exact narrative of the song remains a mystery to Zen Dageraad, its essence evoking images of a pine-laden escape, carries through in his artistry. The artist first crossed paths with the tune through a heartrending cover by Nirvana, "Where Did You Sleep Last Night", adding layers of historical and emotional context to this painting.

Amidst the soft, light blue backdrop, Zen Dageraad plants a thicket of pines with contrasting orange trunks and verdant leaves, symbolizing both tranquility and stark reality. A pink railroad whimsically cuts through, bearing a purple train with bright yellow wheels, a literal and figurative vehicle transporting viewers into the chilliness of the pines evoked in the song. The fusion of colors not only accentuates the cold but brings a surreal warmth, an homage to the tune's ambivalence.

Explore Zen Dageraad's poignant portrayal of enduring sickness, capturing the yearning for past vitality and the disquiet of bodily alienation.

Unpleasant body

In a profound reflection of enduring physical ailment, Zen Dageraad translates his disquiet into visual form. The painting materializes after two grueling months of illness, embodying the alienation and desperate yearning for prior vitality. It’s an earnest confrontation with the body, a domicile now unfamiliar and uncomfortable. A dissonance depicted through a purple figure, seated despondently above a green blob, symbolic perhaps of malaise or distorted self-image. The background cradles a lighter green square amidst a soothing pink, a stark contrast that might denote longing and the ceaseless confines of physicality.

The imagery resonates with the universal sentiment of longing for escape from a fleshly prison during lingering sickness, yet being inescapably tethered to it. Through an evocative palette and simple yet emotive shapes, Zen invites viewers into a visceral narrative, unveiling not just personal vulnerability but the shared, human endeavor to find ease amidst dis-ease.

Parent With Child

I'm not very sentimental, or maybe I simply don't want to be.

So when I saw a woman with her child in a cargo bike, and I thought about my parents, how they carried me around the world for so long, and how now they don't. That wasn't me being sentimental: some things in this world are good, interesting, universal ideas that require capturing, which I did.

Honestly, I'm happy to be independent from my parents, and they're probably glad that I can take care of myself. I love them, even if they, understandably so, radiate stress sometimes.

But I feel I should appreciate them more than I do. It's hard to find the time to spend with them (even though it's too easy to find the time to waste on useless dopamine machines). Even when I do, it's challenging to find good topics. So many things are not worth speaking about, and so many worthy things are easy to forget.

They, or probably me, 'deserve' that extra time though;

Because, so often, while working on my art, or I suppose, in general, I still feel like that kid in the cargo bike getting brought to where I need to go by my parents.

#595 Parent With Child

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